


asked me if i meant it (i didn't)

by orphan_account



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: M/M, ah yes...., the young veins....
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-12
Updated: 2016-07-12
Packaged: 2018-07-23 14:52:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7467564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>he wishes he could give brendon what he wants. he can't. he isn't in love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	asked me if i meant it (i didn't)

ryan feels it like you feel a slap in the face, but slow; it spreads through his body like a gathering fire. it's there, though, hard-hitting, makes ryan want to crumble right there.

he kicks his feet and flicks the cigarette in his hand, dropping his head into his arm. it wasn't supposed to end up this way.

he can't hear brendon snoring from out here, and he really doesn't think he could handle it if he could. the thought of brendon makes him naseous.

he loves him, he does, but he can't do this with him. he grits his teeth. checks his watch.

it's been two hours twenty-eight minutes since he was all brendon could think of, since all ryan could hear was " _ryanryanryanryan_ ".

he thought about writing it, but he can't bear the thought of this being physical. can't bear bringing it to life as vividly as it is in ryan's head.

he hears brendon shuffle and he tightens his grip on the balcony edge.

"please, don't let it be this way," ryan says, quiet, he doesn't dare wake brendon, not now.

he wishes he could give brendon what he wants. he can't. he isn't in love.

**Author's Note:**

> ah fuck i know this isn't that good but i wrote it in like.... five mins. thank u if u read!


End file.
